You made me cry and you don't even care
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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