Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm both gender and math confused
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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