I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
