textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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