tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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