he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The uberlube is also flammable
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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