All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
