Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
