This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
