I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
