why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
