I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
