Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
