did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
