Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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