i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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