you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We are all done wearing pants today
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
