you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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