Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
