Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
