i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
