Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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