Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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