Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
this is an emotional support booty call
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
