i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
