Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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