i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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