Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
