There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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