This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
