No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize