the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
