The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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