Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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