guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
