9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
