who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
There r osticjed everywhere
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
