the condom got lost in my hair
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
