He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize