you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
