College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
