summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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