Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
