Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
