Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
