He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
