Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize