Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
