Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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