you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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