I hate your face
She announced her abortion via fbk
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
