I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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