highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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