I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We left an ass print on the piano.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
