How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
