Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
