yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
