Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
