My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
