turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
