You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
