Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
