maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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