We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
