problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
