well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
