your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
