I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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