Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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