If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just pee around me
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
