Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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