Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
