hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
