Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Kiss
Puke
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
