I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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